Dating coach reveals key to an amicable divorce

As the government looks to overhaul divorce laws to end the “blame game” in marital splits, relationship coach Jo Barnett explains why personal experience has taught her the end of a marriage does not have to turn nasty.

Jo starts off by looking at the way the world’s richest man, Jeff Bezos, announced his divorce from wife MacKenzie:

The way Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos announced their divorce was delightfully delivered.

They were able to share with us their continued devotion and friendship while deciding to divorce with dignity.

It could be argued that only wealthy people can divorce amicably because there is plenty of money to go around, and therefore less need to squabble.

But, that said, it is a testament to both Jeff and MacKenzie that they are holding up a united front and supporting one another.

Speaking from personal experience, divorce does not have to be nasty and it can be quite cathartic.

As a relationship expert, I help people turn their relationships around – something I was able to do myself when I divorced after seven years of marriage.

At the time, my then-husband and I had two lovely young kids – who are now grown up – and we were adamant they would be put first.

We worked together with a mediator and learnt that although we wanted the best for our family, we were just not working as life partners.

We both took responsibility for our share in the breakdown in the marriage and we were able to part with peace and empathy for each other.

To me, this was the key to us moving forward.

Still to this day people comment on how well we get along and how amazing it is that we remained friends.

Over the years I’ve had a lot of support from my ex.

When one of the kids had a problem, I would be able to call him and he would come round to help with parenting.

On our children’s birthdays, and even regular week nights, we still eat together rather than carting our kids back and forth.

We can chat and laugh with ease, knowing that our kids are happy and so are we.

When you divorce you have to remember that your children are not divorcing and their lives need to be kept as simple as possible.

Luckily, both myself and my ex have since found our own perfect partners.

He remarried a year and a half ago – the same day that I had my first date with my now partner.

When relationships deteriorate and your partner is saying awful things, hear the hurt and fear rather than the words. By taking a step back you can have empathy and compassion.

When I work with couples to help them move forward, I always stress that they look at where the other person is coming from.

Within a marriage it is easier to grow apart than it is to grow together. In order to stay together forever it takes a certain bond that only certain couples have.

(c) Sky News 2019: Dating coach reveals key to an amicable divorce